Get in line…or not.

There are lines and then there are LINES! I’ve been stifled by lines at airport security, in traffic, at the grocery store, at the post office (ugh), the bank (seriously, one banker?), basically everywhere I turned throughout my entire life. When I think of the vast waste of time I spent in lines, I die a little inside. I haven’t even mentioned the DMV…

The procrastinator in me, though, is constantly looking for a way to make life easier. For example, I always have something else to do (i.e. phone) in case I get caught in a line – some lines don’t let you out – and some are that important. Ideally, though, there is no line in the first place. This is where the procrastinating children are separated from the adults. Uh, that was supposed to be a gender neutral variation on an old cliché, but it came off kind of creepy – sorry – now I can’t help but think of lines of refugees. Those are good lines to avoid!

Anyway, the obvious way to avoid lines is to know in advance when they will be short. Traffic will be light at 3:30am, for example, so some people show up to work at 6am. When they leave at 2:30pm sharp, though, everyone thinks they’re taking the afternoon off. Alternately, you could come in late and stay late to avoid rush hour. The early risers might think you slept through your alarm, but your boss will think you’re dedicated because you’re there when they leave. You don’t even have to set an alarm in the first place!

And that’s another procrastination tip from the Procrasti-Nation. When they fire you, don’t mention it.